Protecting Your Children

I know most of us are not parents, but for those of you who are or plan to be, there are many ways to help protect your children from sexual assault. Many of these can be found on the RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) website, a great source for protection tips.

Talk to Your Children

The most influential and meaningful tool that we can use as humans is communication. Much of the time, we underestimate the power of simply talking. As we all know, discussions about anything sexual with your parents can be very awkward. No one wants to deal with awkward situations, so naturally we avoid them. When discussing sexual assault, this is not a topic that should be avoided. Children won't know how to avoid certain situations unless you educate them on how to do so. The more openly we talk about these things with our children, the more comfortable and less awkward they will feel when they need to talk about them. If a problem arises involving something sexual, they need to feel comfortable with approaching you about it. You're their helpline, and they depend on you for protection and education.
When educating them on the topic, tell them like it is. It is absolutely necessary to be as blunt as possible so that they fully understand. Tell them where strangers should not be touching, what kind of touching is appropriate versus what kinds are not appropriate. Educate them on how to say "no" and how to make it known that they are not interested. They need to be confident when involved with these types of situations. Obviously they need to know what is okay within the family: hugging, kissing, certain touching, etc. Differentiating between the two needs to be made clear to them.
They also need to know that these things are not to be kept secret if they do happen. Too many children are embarrassed to discuss these things and don't know that they can come to their parents for help. They need to be comfortable with telling their parents and knowing that their parents will help them and protect them from further harm.

Be involved

Be as involved as possible in your child's life. When the teacher asks for chaperones on field trips, volunteer. When your child has any kind of sporting event, whether it be practice or a game, go! Support your child as much as possible and make it known to them that you will always be there to cheer them on. Get to know the teachers, coaches, parents, peers, teammates, and so on.
Ask about how their day was at school, if they made any new friends, etc.
Watch television with them. Have movie nights. Practice sports with them. Take them to the park. Try to focus more on fun activities you can do together that will bring you even closer.
We are all busy, we all have crazy jobs and a million things to do. But set aside time to spend with your child when they aren't in school. Get them outside, constantly try new things, involve them in new sports, figure out what their favorites are and involve them further in that. Allow them to excel and develop their passion.. and do it with them. Make it known that you will be there every step of the way and that they can always turn to you for support, no matter the situation.

 

Reporting Your Suspicions

How to Report a Crime

Call 9-1-1

If you need to report a crime right away, whether it happened to you or your suspicious of someone else, call 911 immediately. Obviously this is the quickest way to get immediate help.

Tip Line

Many people choose to make an anonymous tip, in fear that their name might get out to the offender and they'll come after them too. Many businesses have tip lines. Schools, police departments, federal government, park authorities, you name it. In the case of a felony, you can always call the FBI tip line or fill out the FBI tip form online. There is also a list of different offense tip lines available on the Department of Justice website from the National Domestic Violence Hotline to the National Teen Dating Abuse Hotline.
You can also call your local FBI field office. Go to this website and find your city to get your local hotline number.

If you are a victim of crime, the DOJ has a Victims of Crime Helpline 1800 819 817  where you can talk about your options. If you don't wish to speak to anyone just yet, a Victim's Guide to Support Services and the Criminal Justice System is available as well.

Reasons to Report a Crime

1) Increase your personal safety/ the victim's safety

2) Help police charge and incapacitate

3) Have access to help and support services/ show the victim a path to help

4) Apply to financial aid

5) Make an insurance claim if necessary

Many people do not think their situation is serious enough to report, but all crime is serious and you will be heard if you're a victim.
The authorities will ensure the victim's safety, and will do everything they can to prevent the crime from happening again.

Tips for Preventing Sex Assault in College

What many people don't know is that there are several little things you can do to help prevent yourself from becoming a victim of sexual assault in college.

Tip #1: Travel in Groups

I know tons of guys who make fun of girls whenever we go to the bathroom together. Truth is, there's a reason behind that. We don't just do it because we're BFFs and can't stand to be apart even to go to the bathroom. Sexual assault can happen anywhere at anytime. It doesn't have to be at night or in a private place. Some predators will assault you in broad daylight for anyone to see. Many people have this perception of sexual assault only happening in the middle of the night in some creepy alley way. Yes, we need to avoid those types of situations, but those aren't the only times we need to be cautious. The buddy system is always smart in every situation.

Tip #2: Never Put Your Drink Down

Especially in college, drinks tend to be in solo cups. The top of a solo cup is a very easy target for someone to get to. If you put that cup down and walk away for even just a second, someone can easily slip something into your drink that will make assaulting you like stealing candy from a baby. Even when you go to the bathroom, TAKE IT WITH YOU. Don't give it to someone else to hold onto either because who knows if they'll put it down and walk away for a second. I transferred to George Mason, but at my old school I had a friend come and visit me and we went to an underground frat that was actually banned from the school at the time because of several of these incidents occurring. Her name was Julie, a very pretty blonde, super outgoing. About halfway through the night, someone slipped something into her drink. Luckily, my friends and I noticed it immediately and carried her back to our dorm before anyone else noticed. That situation could've gone south in a hurry and she may not be here right now. It's more important to keep your drink in your possession than most people realize.
Another few things with drinks: never share with anyone, never accept drinks from anyone, never drink from an open bowl, and don't drink anything that tastes off. These are all possibilities of consuming a spiked drink.

Tip #3: Always Have a Ride Home

You may plan on staying sober, but you'd be surprised at how easily people cave under peer pressure. An hour later and your three drinks deep with no ride home. That's when people try to drive themselves home and end up with a DUI or worse. I'll tell anyone without shame that I've had to call my mom before to come pick me up from a party. When all your friends are at the same party with you and everyone is drinking, and staying at the house is not an option, what do you do? Call the people you can always rely on.. your family. Trust me, they'll be happy that you didn't drive or get in a car with someone else.

Tip #4: Make Sure Your Phone is Charged

You never want to end up in a situation where your only lifeline is calling someone for help, but your phone is dead. Try to always keep your phone charged up as much as possible. I always have a charger with me as well, so that if I'm going to be in one place for an extended period of time, I can charge my phone back up. Work, school, study sessions.. find chances to charge your phone. You never know when your life might depend on it.

Tip #5: Trust Your Instincts

If there's one thing I've learned in life, it's to trust your instincts. Always go with your initial feeling or initial thought. It will always be right. If being with a certain person doesn't feel right or you're never really comfortable around them.. time to say goodbye. Just like dogs and other animals, we can tell when something isn't quite right. Even if we have absolutely no proof that it isn't right, our gut feeling always meanings something. If you ever feel uneasy in a situation, get out of it. It's better to be safe than sorry.

Many universities have tip websites that you can read through to help find some other tips on how you can better prevent yourself from sexual assault.

The Registry

I decided to make this blog more about preventing sexual abuse than informing about the different cases. This time I wanted to talk about the sex offender registry.
My mom actually informed me about this a couple years ago and I had absolutely no idea that it even existed. The United States Department of Justice commissioned the National Sex Offender Registry in 2005. Every time a person is convicted of a sexual offense, they are registered. I have used the website several times, just being curious as to who is around me. It is especially handy when you're moving to a new area and you need to know who to look out for in the neighborhood.
All you have to do is go to the Sex Offender Registry website and search your city and/or zip code. You can search for specific people as well. I highly recommend searching at least where you live, just to have an idea of who is around you and who you might need to stay away from.

The 5 W's

Child Sexual Assault